Dude, Where's My Empathy? A Gen Z Perspective on Indian Masculinity Valentine's Day Edition

Roses are red, violets are blue, guys are expected to have all the answers, too?

Yeah, about that…

Valentine's Day. The annual exam where you're suddenly supposed to transform into Shah Rukh Khan, complete with wind machines and cheesy dialogues. Grand gestures, expensive gifts, the whole shebang. No pressure, right? It’s as if society expects us to propose with a Bollywood song and backup dancers while most are merely trying to figure out what “Netflix and chill” means. But let’s get real—behind all the red hearts and overpriced chocolates lies an awkward truth: 

The “mard” code in India is like that old WhatsApp forward from your uncle—it keeps showing up even though no one asked for it.

The “Mard” Code: A Family Heirloom That Needs an Upgrade

The concept of what it means to “be a man” is handed down through generations like a family recipe—though this one could genuinely do with less salt and a reality check. Boys are told to be strong and stoic, as well as the providers. "Beta, settle down" is practically the background music of Indian homes. We’re expected to have all the answers, solve all the problems, and never show weakness. It’s as if we’re all auditioning for a remake of Sholay, with Gabbar Singh as our life coach.

Pause and Think: Who decided that having emotions disqualifies you from being “man enough”?

Tradition vs. Reality: The Awkward Tug-of-War

Our dads probably had good intentions. They drove “Ambassador” cars then, arranged marriages, and landline telephones. Their “man code” made sense in their time—just like pagers and dial-up internet. But here we are in 2025, swiping right on dating apps, decoding ghosting, and realising that “real men” can have feelings AND opinions about skincare. The world has evolved, but the expectations often feel like they’re stuck buffering.

Pause and Think: Are we living by outdated rules simply because no one hit the “refresh” button?

Valentine’s Day Pressure: Love, But Make It Exhausting

Valentine's Day is like a relationship report card. Suddenly, you’re expected to be the ultimate romantic hero—flowers, gifts, surprise dates, all while casually pretending you’ve figured it out. But what if I want to split the bill? Does that make me less of a man?

Pause and Think: Why do we measure romance by grand gestures when genuine connection doesn’t cost a thing (except maybe emotional vulnerability)?

Caught Between “Macho” and Mindful: The Identity Crisis

We find ourselves caught between tradition and modernity. We believe in gender equality, yet sometimes, we see ourselves slipping into old patterns. We wish to be emotionally open but fear judgment. It’s akin to attempting to solve a Rubik’s cube while blindfolded—confusing, frustrating, and somewhat embarrassing when your younger cousin accomplishes it in under a few seconds minute.

Pause and Think: Are we afraid of being vulnerable or how people will react if we are?

The Social Media Trap: Filtered Lives, Unfiltered Pressure

Let’s not forget the Instagram effect—flawless bodies, ideal relationships, perfect lives. Social media transforms everyone into the star of a Karan Johar film while you feel like an underappreciated extra in a movie scene…. Comparing your messy reality to someone else’s highlight reel is like comparing your blooper reel to their Oscar-winning performance scene. Exhausting. Let us be honest for a moment….

Pause and Think: Are we curating our lives for “likes,” or are we living for ourselves?

A Radical Valentine’s Idea: Maybe Just…Be Yourself?

This Valentine’s Day, why not skip the performance?
Instead of fretting over the perfect gift, consider the radical act of genuinely listening. Perhaps your partner doesn’t want a giant teddy bear. Maybe they wish for you to ask, “How was your day?”—and genuinely care about the response answer.

Pause and Think: What’s more romantic: an expensive dinner or a conversation where you’re fully present?

My Valentine’s Day 2025 Vow: The Anti-Cliché Commitment

This year, I vow to:

• Challenge one outdated idea about masculinity. (Like, maybe I don’t have to be the one who always pays for dinner.)
• Have an honest conversation with someone about the pressures of being a man in India. (Even if it’s awkward. Especially if it is uncomfortable….)
• Practice active listening. (Turns out, people have thoughts beyond “hmm” and “okay.”)
• Be more aware of my own biases. (Because personal growth > fragile ego.)
• Remember that vulnerability isn’t weakness. (Real strength is admitting when you’re not okay—and that’s okay.)

Conclusion: Real Men Have Real Feelings (And Maybe Bad Hair Days Too)

Maybe true romance isn’t about grand gestures.
Maybe it’s about empathy, understanding, and genuine connection.
Maybe it’s about being vulnerable enough to say, “I don’t have all the answers,” and knowing that’s perfectly okay.

“You don’t need to be a ‘real man.’ You need to be real.”

YRGCARE: We’ve Got Your Attention….

At YRGCARE, we believe masculinity doesn’t have to come with emotional baggage.
Need to talk? Feeling overwhelmed?
Call us at 044-33125000 or connect online.

Let’s ditch the stereotypes, one honest conversation at a time this Valentine’s day and onward….

With warmth and support,

YRG Communications Team